a virtual raison d'etre

right, so blogging. here's what i think about this. today. i'm sort of weirdly drawn to blogging, although i can't help but have a sort of niggling reluctance. it's something i quite like the idea of, but at the same time, a healthy degree of realism about.

allow me to explain. i fully embrace the following facts:

i will probably get a bit upset that no-one will read my blog, apart from maybe my friend julie, who lives in france and, to be quite honest, probably has very little else/better to do (sorry julie).

i acknowledge that although i will get upset about this, i will also find it totally understandable, as i never go around reading blogs. and i probably won't really put up anything worth looking at anyway. or i'll put loads of things up, and then i'll forget about it for ages, and then come and check and be doubly disappointed.

i will almost certainly lose interest in blogging within a year (maybe less). this loss of interest may be fuelled by the following things:

lack of people making jaw droppingly hilarious responses to my witty, insightful comments on daily life/utterly brilliant pictures (they'll come sooner or later, be patient).

the realisation that making and maintaining this blog is yet another activity of a lengthy list of things i do to procrastinate, and not do things which are ultimately more important than giving myself a virtual raison d'etre (!) (hark at me), for example:

(things i do to procrastinate)
reading magazines/newspapers/books, making lists, smoking, watching films, having a job, putting them stickers on things and then peeling them off again and then sticking them on a bit straighter and then peeling them off again etc., staring out of windows, drawing pictures of space rockets (really), organising documents and bills in a hugely unrealistic way which i will immediately stop maintaining rendering the activity pointless, and/or worrying obsessively about my ultimate pointlessness and inferiority and inability to achieve anything.

(things i procrastinate against (against?))
having a job, talking to people in real life, achieving tangible goals which enrich me as a person, organising my finances/teeth.

however. despite knowing all this in advance, i've decided to throw caution to the wind and advance gung-ho into the world of blogging. watch out (world of blogging). here i come.

this post should end on that optimistic note, but in a punch to the face of emphatic final comments, i'll continue, and aim to end on a more even keel. sort of a warm down if you will.

i'm off now to stare out of a window for a bit. the chinese family opposite usually get home around this time.