THE PAST: RUBBISH

     

a woman working in the rubbish past. note her unhappiness.

we are all completely correct and wise to be living purely for the moment. any kind of nostalgia is just silly nonsense, and should be quite literally stamped out (i am lacing up my big, stamping boots right now). 

in order to check whether the myth about things being (rather vaguely) "better in the old days" was true, i selflessly threw myself into a program of grueling research and analysis in an attempt to come up with some solid statistics from which we could all form an objective judgement vis-a-vis the past vs. the present.  

the question i posed was thus: 

"look at us! living in this mind-boggling day and age. no time to stop and enjoy the simple pleasures of life! i mean sure we have wireless internet, 24 hour entertainment, streaming video, laughably cheap international air travel, more ways to relax and entertain ourselves than we can shake a stick at (stick shaking being just one of them), but do we have real quality of life? remember when summer afternoons went on forever? when we had no worries, and spent all day lying on grass discussing what the clouds looked like? when we were grateful just to have a bowl of porridge and not the plague?    no, me neither. but i'm always hearing toothless old tea-bag faces droning on and on about it, as if the old days were the best thing since sliced bread (in fact, they see sliced bread as part of the downfall of the age of innocence, and regard this obvious leap in the unstoppable march of progress as a bad thing, in blatant contradiction of the old saying!)  well, let's settle it once and for all i say. which are better? things now? or things in the old days? your considered opinions if you will. "

...and after a representative sample of the global population cast their vote, the results can speak for themselves. observe!

      

so yeah. things in the past? rubbish. thing now? bloody brilliant thank you very much! i know it's not too much of a shocker, but still, there's nothing like having some definitive statistics to jam a wad of wet toilet roll into the flailing gobs of all those doubting thomas past-lovers is there? now we can all rest easy and know that the public has spoken, and that they prefer things now. 

keep checking here in the cabin as we continue with our ground-breaking research and we will endeavor to bring you more of these world wide exclusives. 

p.s. if you have a suggestion for future weekly polls, well suggest away. there's a chance you may be listened to.

p.p.s. thanks for voting! a poll is nothing without votes. and that's not a figure of speech. it's literally nothing.